I am going to write about the topic Communication consideration from chapter 3. The factors everyone should consider when choosing among the conflict communication options are
- Occasion (including time and location)
- The other person
- One’s own need
An occasion would be equivalent of a particular book, such as mystery, thriller or romance where time and place create unique expectations that guide our behavior. The other person is affected by our behavior in the conflict so he must be taken into account. Most important are you in the conflict of involvement, so you should consider your own needs and learn to prioritize them.
I am going to illustrate the concept of communication consideration with a real life example. One time my husband and me, along with our friends went out for dinner. We were discussing about football and my husband and me got into a conflict on who is a better football player, Beckham or Ronaldo. My husband got very angry for comparing Ronaldo with Beckham. His all time favorite is Ronaldo, who was on peak then. He started talking loudly about how bad Beckham is, and even worse about his fans. Our conflict took a fierce turn and dinner turned out to be disastrous. I totally disliked the way my husband took this issue to his heart and started fighting on personal level. I realized it was not a correct occasion to move on, so I backed out of the conflict by just keeping mum. The occasion was to relax and enjoy the dinner at the restaurant with few friends, not to get in personal fights. I totally disapproved his attitude at dinner, but thought of speaking about this at the right time, when it will be just him and me. Accordingly when we came home I told him patiently about his interest in the conflict, which was Ronaldo, while my interest was an opinion about Beckham, it was not a competition. He agreed and we mutually settled our differences by saying sorry. We both were wrong at some point of time, because we kept the players aside and started on personal level. After that incident my husband and me have decided not to fight in public places and create a scene in front of others.
Spring Blossom,
ReplyDeleteI totally understand where you are coming from and your post I can totally agree on. Communications can sometimes turn maybe a nice dinner can turn into a night like you guys had, it is sometimes because people are so passionate about there sports. Verbal and non-verbal communication can result in some form of conflict by the choice of words. I am very passionate about basketball and sometimes because I feel like I am sports guru (even though I am not)lie for example my girlfriend would stump me on how many points Lebron James had one night I would say 30 and she says no he had 35. Where I know she is not trying to show me up; but some guys see it as a competition and that's how conflicts occur. My girlfriend and I don't argue about things like that in public but more like to ourselves. Great post.