Listening is a desire to pay attention to the other person. It is characterized by openness to the other person’s views, willingness to suspend judgement during the discussion, and patience to hear the other out. Listening involves both an empathic response to the other person and a commitment to hear to all the other person has to say. To answer to the question if I am a good listener is, I have always been poor in listening to others because I feel my say is more important than others. I want to make sure that everything I say has to be completely conveyed. So most of the times, when someone is talking, I am involved in my own ideas. I am trying to make a very concious effort to be a good listener after taking communication classes. When I sit and analyze my conversation with others alone, I understand that I was the only one talking. Normally, I don’t have any intentions to knock out others in conversation, but I have realized that acting in a certain way becomes a habitual pattern. Now that I am trying to focus on listening, I am able to think and understand in right spirit, where the other person is coming from.
I know what you mean in regards to wanting to make sure your point gets across because I often feel that way too. I am pretty good at seeing the othe person's view point, but when people say certain things that I think are just way out in left field and (in my opinion) don't have much validity, it makes it hard for me to listen to them anyway. I think the best way to handle the situation is to just know that if you're having a deep conversation with someone, you probably respect them and that entails respecting their need to voice their feelings. I think it's sort of human nature to knock the other person because we want our view to be the "right" one. I know I can be really guilty of this pattern.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you. I don’t think we purposely “knock out others in conversation,” but do it because of a habit we have formed over time to make sure that we fully express our side of the conversation. I liked the way you said you were going to try to focus on listening with “the right spirit.” Putting our interest first in conversations and conflicts becomes such an ingrained habit that it takes a tremendous conscious effort to try to change the habit. Being in “the right spirit” will help us persevere until we break the habit and form a better one of truly listening, which is a great gift we can give the other person.
ReplyDeleteI appreciate the honesty in your post. It is often difficult to admit when we practice negative behaviors but this class serves as as aide in teaching us to recognize our own communication styles and patterns. I have already learned a lot about myself regarding how I handle conflict and communicate and realize there is room for improvement. Just as you say you are trying to make a conscious effort to be a good listener, there are changes I would like to make as well. I feel that it is especially hard to recognize our communication habits in the heat of the moment, which is why we can benefit from these assignments that allow us to reflect back to examine and hopefully learn from our behavior.
ReplyDelete