In dealing with conflicts at home, I tend toward the relationship-centered orientation, which is the assertive communication behavior option that orients towards giving importance to both our needs and the needs of the other. Assertive communication behavior is an ability to speak up for one’s interests, concerns, or rights in a way that does not interfere with the interests or infringes on the rights of others. Assertive communication also allows others to communicate their beliefs and desires. It is a middle road to resolve conflicts over being extremely aggressive or passively non-aggressive. I prefer relationship orientation to avoid conflicts at home.
I think my inclination towards relationship- centered orientation is because of my upbringing, where I was always taught to compromise, and adjust with family members for peace and harmony at home. My mother always told me that there is no harm in accommodating your family members as long as it doesn’t jeopardize your self-conscious. Use of assertive communication always proves to be the best choice to settle conflicts without hard feelings.
I like your mom’s message to you that there was “no harm in accommodating your family members as long as it doesn’t jeopardize your self-conscious.” I had to learn this for myself. In a family of four children, it often seemed like survival of the fittest. Two things stand out in what we were taught as siblings: we learned what was right and what was wrong and that, according to my parents, there were no grey areas, and second, since we didn’t get a chance to choose our siblings we might not always like them but we were always to love them.
ReplyDeleteI would say there wasn’t much compromising or collaborating going on while I grew up, and there were definitely times when there was no peace and harmony between the siblings—rather the opposite. But we were always there for our siblings when anyone outside of the family picked on one of us.
It wasn’t until I grew up that I learned that I could stand up for my beliefs and values while accommodating and collaborating with others (relationship-centered orientation to conflict). Life became much smoother, though perhaps a bit less exciting!