Assertive behavior is characterized by personalized communication with the use of “I” statements over “you” statements. There are two misassumptions about others that lead us to prefer depersonalized communication to communication that owns our feelings. First we tend to confuse our perceptions of the other person and second that seduces us into depersonalized communication, which makes us feel we can predict other’s behaviors. By using I statements, you can provide the needed information, which helps the opposite person understand exactly what you are thinking, feeling and wanting. Also with the use of I statement, you demonstrate honesty by telling others what is on your mind, what you prefer, or what is upsetting you. In fact, I statements reduce defensiveness in others because they realize that you are not trying to push the blame on them.
The example in the textbook about handing car keys with very little gas happens all the time with me. I get in trouble for raising conflict over the gas issue almost always, but now onwards to reduce defensive allegations from the other side, I am going to say, I’d like you to get gas after you use my car.
I enjoyed reading your post and the benefits of using “I” statements. By using these type of personal statements we are able to communicate with people exactly what we want and how we are feeling. Many forms of communication can be quite passive at times, but by using “I” statements it’s more of an assertive way to communicate with people. Also, I liked how you pointed out that “I” statements make the people that you’re communicating with feel less defensive because the blame isn’t being placed on the individual. I personally believe that assertive behavior is the most efficient way to communicate our feelings to other individuals as you pointed out in your post.
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I also wrote about the I-Statements. You are a very cohesive writer and write very simply and easy to read. The effectiveness of the I-Statement can go either way I believe. When we do use the _-Statement, we are choosing to take responsibility for our actions. I like how the book used positive and negative examples. One of those examples includes, That was a great movie. Here, we are declaring that the movie was great; no ifs ands or buts about it. The I-Statement is useful in many scenarios, if used correctly!
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